Cuttin’ Loose

A few recent events have given me reason to ‘adjust some relationships’, so to speak.  Essentially, I have decided what I will and will not expose myself to lower my chances of disappointment.

What I have lost is a bit of bad stress.

One example is an organization, and not the only one in my career, that inquired of my work as a teacher and then used our discussion to develop a class that did not use me as the instructor.  I had a phone contact with this organization today, and a follow-up Project Plan was requested of me.  I did follow-up, but my e-mail was a statement that I would not be sending any information that could be used without me and a request to contact me when this organization is willing to hire me.

In the advertising/promotions industry, this is referred to as ‘giving away the cow’.  You know the saying: ‘Why buy the cow when the milk is free?’  I have given away the cow a few times, and that is completely my fault.

My purpose in each of these examples is certainly NOT the burning of bridges.  Rather, the objective is to establish a relationship that is more emotionally intelligent; a way for us to continue to have our relationship with ‘controls’ in place to avoid negative events or feelings.

Emotionally Intelligent Signage is an interesting concept that I found recently that makes Emotional Intelligence easier to apply.  As an example, here is a way to rearrange our speech without diminishing the point: Sign at Beach

How can you change the dynamic of a relationship by softly drawing lines and improving how you feel?


2 thoughts on “Cuttin’ Loose”

  1. Justin, you make some valid and interesting observations. Life is full of givers and takers. Many times, the “takers” disguise themselves well and one doesn’t know that they have been taken for ride until its too late. I can’t tell you how many times I have spent hours working on analyses and presentations, only to have it handed to my competitor to write the business. It stinks. However, I think in the end, this behavior catches up with these people. Just remember that “Time wounds all heels.” There are plenty of nice people out there to do business with. We just have to sift through the “stuff”.

    1. Thanks, Carl,

      It is encouraging to hear that I am not alone in meeting such people. I have heard from others that these sorts are everywhere. I get the impression that we should remain motivated in our paths knowing that with every ‘Heel’ that is met, we are moving closer to meeting the right partners.

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